Conflict Resolution - Pt 3 (Witness)
· GOALS & GUIDELINES:
· ICEBREAKER:  Honestly… My first reaction to conflict is…
· AGREEMENT PRAYER
· PRAISE 
· EDIFY:    
Biblical Conflict Resolution. Step 1: Avoid the conflict – Not every disagreement should become a fight. Most conflict can be avoided. Step 2: Gain a Brother – Jesus says, Go to the one who has sinned against you and talk to them 1 on 1.  It must be a SIN, and it must be a SIN against you or you have no right to confront them. Also, if you discuss the issue with anyone else before you discuss it with the offending party you aren’t obeying what Jesus says about Conflict Resolution. If you talk to the person alone, and they hear, then you have gained a brother.  The word If stands out…

Q- Tell us about a time Conflict Resolution worked for you?  Why did it work?
Q- Tell us about a time Conflict Resolution didn’t work for you?  Why didn’t it work?
Q- Is there ever a reason to NOT forgive?   …Give us a reason that it’s important to forgive.
Q- How often should you forgive someone? Is there a breaking point where you stop forgiving? [Matt 18]

We are commanded to forgive. If someone tries to reconcile then we must forgive. We have no right to hold that grudge and bitterness. You might not like hearing that, but let’s flip the coin.  The other side of that coin is – You should always be forgiven yourself. We are forgiven beyond degree by God – we should strive to forgive like that. 

Q- Why do we resist forgiving others?

Let’s point out- forgiveness isn’t a free get out of jail pass. The person you forgive should make things right. If they won’t repent and make things right then we must go to the next step. Step 3: Establish Words. You are to return with 1 or 2 witnesses to the next confrontation. The witnesses are there to establish what is said – They are not there to gang up or take sides, but to witness what is said. 

Notice the layers of conflict resolution. #1 Hold the conflict within yourself - avoid and forgive. #2 Keep the conflict between you and the offender. #3 Bring in trusted witnesses. Q- What is the benefit of this order?

If the conflict isn’t resolved with the witnesses then we have to go to the Final Step: Tell the Church. This is the last resort and all the other steps where given as an opportunity to stop the conflict before the whole church body was exposed to the issue. Now on this Final Step the whole church is called together and exposed to the problem and the offender is given 1 final chance to make things right. If at this moment they refuse to repent and be reconciled they are no longer welcome within the church body.

Q- Do you think it is too harsh to be removed from the church? 

Followers of Christ should be showing the fruit of the Spirit. Going through these steps is showing the fruit of the spirit within the body of Christ. We must give offenders a chance to be reconciled, but there is a point where we remove people who don’t want to live in peace. This is VERY rare but it can happen and should happen if we ever fail to reconcile with our brother or sister. 

Internal Q – What do I need to change when comes to resolving conflict? Has there been something in this study has that has confronted your belief system? Maybe you are thinking you would never be able to follow these steps. This would be a perfect time for us to turn to God and ask Him to forgive us for not following his commands or the example of Jesus. {Pray}

1.	Vision:  Think over the steps the steps this week. Help remind each other of what we have learned by posting something you have learned about Conflict Resolution on Facebook. 

We have a new series starting next week designed to get you ready for the new year! Invite a friend!
Goals and Guidelines
1.	Grow in relationship with each other
2.	Grow in relationship with God
3.	Grow in number and multiply
   This is a non-denominational meeting where everyone's thoughts, ideas, and opinions are to be respected. Everyone is welcome and we encourage all to share their feelings.

We will not argue or debate!  
We place God's Word as the highest authority.

We all share equally in the ownership of this Connect Group, therefore we will all participate in hosting meetings from house to house on a weekly basis.

We will be committed to attendance and arriving on time.  

When sharing, we follow 3 simple rules...
Stay on subject
Keep it short
Keep all comments appropriate.

We will build confidence and trust with each other and become transparent.

What is said in here stays in here. No gossip!

Last but not least…  We will invite others to our Connect Group!

Matthew 18:15-17 (NKJV)
if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’[a] 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. 

Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV)
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control

Romans 12:18 (KJV)
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Matthew 6:14-15 (NIV)
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sin, your Father will not forgive your sins.