Conflict Resolution - Pt 2 (Gain a Brother)
· GOALS & GUIDELINES:
· ICEBREAKER:  I will argue ‘til the die I die that….
· AGREEMENT PRAYER
· PRAISE 
· EDIFY:    
In the year 1901 a Traffic Accident was recorded in Kansas City. It was the first automobile accident in the state of Kansas. Even more noteworthy, the 2 cars involved where the only 2 cars in the entire state. If these 2 lone cars couldn’t avoid a collision, how can we always avoid conflict as our lives constantly intersect? 

Last week we talked about avoiding conflict. Romans 12:18 says “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”  IF IT BE POSSIBLE… Not all conflict can be avoided. So when we come into an unavoidable conflict we need to know how to act.

Q- What are some terrible things to do in conflict. Give us a not to do list.

Step 1 is to AVOID CONFLICT. This step should usually be effective, but it’s not 100%.  Sometimes we will find ourselves on a collision course that can’t be avoided. When this unavoidable conflict happens we move on to Step 2: GAIN A BROTHER.  Let’s take another look at Matthew 18:15. [read it together]

Q- Matthew 18:15 gives us a process to follow. What stands out in this scripture passage… in this process? 

“IF your brother sins against you” Anything less than a sin against you, you do not have the right to confront someone about.  Sometimes we want to start confrontations over things that aren’t sins against us. 

Q- Give us some examples of things that might make us mad or disappointed but aren’t sins against us.
Q- …Also give us some examples of what a sin against you might be.

It must be a sin. It might be that what we are calling a sin against us isn’t a sin. Not only must it be a sin, the sin must be against YOU!  “If your brother sins against YOU.

Q- Why do other people seem to love getting involved in conflicts that they having nothing to do with? 

It’s not ok to confront someone if they haven’t sinned against you. You do not have the right to enact conflict on behalf of someone else. That would be meddling! That would be wrong!!

When you have clearly been sinned against you go to step 2: Gain a brother. Matt 18:15 says “go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

Q- Why do we get people involved that shouldn’t be involved with the conflict?

This is the largest breakdown of conflict resolution. Rather than going to them only and talking about the conflict, we tell others about the conflict. Sometimes the last person to know about the conflict is the person we have the conflict with…  It is not ok to talk to others about the conflict before you have talked with the one who has sinned against you.  Matthew 18:15 tells us to talk to them ALONE. 

If the offender will hear you and make things right the conflict is over and nobody ever knew it existed.
Q- Do you see the value in keeping it between you and them? Why is that valuable?  

Don’t tell others, don’t blog about it or put it on Facebook, don’t call someone asking for prayer and divulge the information.  Go straight to the person who sinned against you. That is how you gain a brother. 

Let’s pray that we will live in peace and be quick to forgive… that we will have a heart to gain a brother. {pray}

1.	Vision:  
Gain a brother. 
Goals and Guidelines
1.	Grow in relationship with each other
2.	Grow in relationship with God
3.	Grow in number and multiply
   This is a non-denominational meeting where everyone's thoughts, ideas, and opinions are to be respected. Everyone is welcome and we encourage all to share their feelings.

We will not argue or debate!  
We place God's Word as the highest authority.

We all share equally in the ownership of this Connect Group, therefore we will all participate in hosting meetings from house to house on a weekly basis.

We will be committed to attendance and arriving on time.  

When sharing, we follow 3 simple rules...
Stay on subject
Keep it short
Keep all comments appropriate.

We will build confidence and trust with each other and become transparent.

What is said in here stays in here. No gossip!

Last but not least…  We will invite others to our Connect Group!

Matthew 18:15 (NKJV)
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained a brother.

Romans 12:18 (KJV)
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Romans 14:19 (KJV)
Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace…